Getting people to step up!

Imagine yourself sitting and staring at another group of pictures on your computer screen while you listen to someone drone on and on about how the meeting is going to go.

Bored yet? Checking into something else on your computer?

If you are leading this group, you know it would be amazing if everyone were willing to step right into the meeting and be willing to share immediately. Unfortunately, you also know that will not happen. There are people who are willing to jump right in, but there are also others who are quite willing to let them. This seems to be really noticeable with virtual meetings, because it is very easy to just sit and watch. Some people sit back, and don’t really enter the meeting. Their minds stay at their desks, or at home, as they check their email or social media feeds.

So, how do you get the loud ones to learn how to step back and the quiet ones to step up?

You make them sing. That’s right, sing!

Now that we are all locked down due to COVID, there is even less need to feel embarrassed. No one is going to sound that good anyway!

Okay, here’s how it works. You have one person step up (this would put them in the middle of circle if you were meeting live). This person simply starts singing any song that comes into their head. This could be “Happy Birthday”, or “Auld Lang Syne”, or whatever. After a line or two someone else steps in with a different song. This continues until everyone has had a turn at singing, and no one has sung more than twice.

The goal is not to leave someone hanging in the centre for very long, nor have the same people hogging the limelight. This teaches us to have fun, and to take turns while making room for all voices.

So, the next time you gather for a meeting (be it virtual or in person) take some time to learn how to make room for one another and how to speak up.

Be that person.

“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person.”

– Buckminster Fuller

At this time in our world, there is so much uncertainty about the future. We have all responded quite well to the initial shock of the pandemic of COVID-19, but this is starting to settle in for longer than we may have hoped.

How do we respond with a longer term strategy?

Well, one of the things is to remember what you are really trying to do. Or better, remember why you do what you do. If you can focus on the underlying purpose of your organisation or business it can help you keep what is truly important central to everything you do. It also gives you something to improvise around.

I love the above quote from Buckminster Fuller, because it can remind all of us that we can all make a difference. It is not always easy, and it may require sacrifices we never thought we’d be asked to make. In the end though, you have gifts, talents, and abilities that no one else does and I believe you were given them for a reason.

So, go and use them. Make a difference in your world. In THE world.

Go, be that person.

Is your team dropping too many balls? Here is an improv game that might help.

Have you ever left a meeting and wondered what decisions were actually made? Who was supposed to do what next? Ever left a conversation with someone unclear about what it was they were exactly asking you to do? Have you ever given instructions to someone else you thought was really clear, only to have the person fail to follow through?

I’m sure we all have at one time or another, and that usually means that some balls get dropped.

This is usually down to some poor communication practices, and assumptions made about the receptivity of our recipient.

Good communication is all about passing along some kind of information. For this to work well we need to know exactly what it is we are passing along, that the person we are passing it to is paying attention and is ready to receive it, and that they have actually received the message.

I have found a really good exercise that is often used in improv theatre that provides some profound lessons about this kind of communication.

For this exercise everyone stands in a circle where they can all see each other. The game starts with one imaginary object (like a red ball, or a chocolate bar) being passed around the circle from person to person. So, the leader makes eye contact with one person, says, “This is a red ball.” then “passes” it to that person. That person receives the object, repeats “This is a red ball.”, then turns to another person and repeats the process. The goal of the first round is to pass the object to everyone in the circle once, and then pass it back to the leader.

After the first object makes it around, then leader begins to ramp the game up a bit. She starts the next round with a different object, and then after a few passes of that object, adds in another, and another, and another, …

So, at any one time we may have a red ball, a hot potato, a stinky shoe, and a chocolate bar all going around from person to person.

After a while, the leader collects all the objects as they come to her, and the team debriefs the experience (and notes whether any objects got lost in the shuffle).

The reason this is such a useful exercise, is that it teaches really clearly the intentionality that is needed in clear communication. Every person needs is responsible for clearly passing along the object, and that requires eye contact and a clear message which is sent and received.

Most of us are not that diligent in our communication. We do not ensure that the other person is ready to receive the “ball”, we don’t make it clear what the “ball” really is, and we don’t get feedback about whether the “ball” was really received!

So, they next time you sense your team is starting to drop the ball, and communication might be getting a bit muddled, take some time to play this game. You’ll be amazed at how much clearer your communication will become.